If I could describe an experience that brought me close to an experience of Christ's resurrection, it would be this:
While I was suffering from a fever AND diarrhoea double-hit combo some weeks ago, I had been eating porridge for 4 days. Not that the porridge was bad - in fact, it was so good, I didn't even know I had been eating it for FOUR days already. But still, when I had my last bowl of porridge delivered to me on the day when I was almost on the brink of recovery, I saw this piece of 'siew mai' in the bowl. At that instant, it was as if heaven's gates flung open! As I'm the kind who likes to save the best for last, I waited patiently till I finished my last scoop of porridge. Then I slowly raised up the piece of 'siew mai' with my spoon, gazed at its soft, yellow flesh for a moment, before finally sinking my teeth into its sweet, juicy flesh.
And for those brief seconds that seemed like eternity, I said to myself, "Now THIS is Heaven!"
One thing I've learnt from my sickness - while cooped up in my seminary room for 4 terrible days save for the love, care and concern from my seminary brothers - is that, in the midst of our busy, jam-packed schedules that we so often get so caught up in, the "interruptions" of sickness or suffering, can actually be part of God's agenda to slow us down in order to sharpen our senses, not just to the heavenly taste of 'siew mai', but more importantly, to the taste of God. When my tired, sickly body caused me to slow down my movements around the room or in performing simple tasks like bathing or brushing my teeth; when having to eat alone made me slow down each spoonful I placed in my mouth such that it heightened my taste buds and I was more conscious of the variety of taste that my hardly noticed taste buds now seem to be able to savour; when my lack of activity during my solitary confinement left me more time to stare at the view of nature outside my room, allowing me to more deeply admire and appreciate its beauty and even smell the fresh air that came with it; all these experiences increased my sense of God's presence and action in my daily life, increased my sense of awe and wonder at His creation and works - something that have not been too apparent to me in the hustle and bustle of my daily routines.
As we come to the end of our liturgical year, as well as our calendar year, let us not wait for the "interruptions" of sickness or suffering in our life, but start right now to slow down and take stock of how we have lived our Christian lives, how we have been conscious of God's presence and action in our lives, how we have been living in His Resurrection!
Only when we learn to slow down our lives, can we learn to heighten our sense of God who has been right before us all our lives, watching over us, working in us, and all around us, non-stop, all throughout the year. It is only up to us whether or not we are conscious enough to savour every taste of that Godly experience, even a deeper experience of His resurrection each day, which He is all ready to give us, once we are ready to sloooow... doooown...
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